OK, I loved both columns. But, it’s just a little scary when both Maureen Dowd and Ben Stein are talking about love. And both articles are on the New York Times’ top ten most emailed list.
Maureen writes about a priest’s description of An Ideal Husband, advice he gives to young women:
- Never marry a man who has no friends. This usually means he’s incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. (my comment – be sure to check and make sure he’s not just shy).
- What do your friends and family think of him?
- Does he use money responsibly? Is he stingy?
- Steer clear of someone whose life you can run, i.e. no doormats
- Is he overly attached to his mother?
- Does he have a sense of humor?
- Is he the ‘strong/silent’ type? (run away)
- Are bad family habits? Racism, sexism, prejudice?
- Do you share the same deepest values?
- Does he possess the character traits that add up to being a good person? Is he wiling to forgive, praise, be courteous? or is he inclined to be a fibber, to fits of rage, to be a control freak, to be envious, to be secretive?
Then, Ben Stein:
My primary life study has been about love. Second comes economics, so here, in the form of a few rules, is a little amalgam of the two fields: the economics of love…
In general, and with rare exceptions, the returns in love situations are roughly proportional to the amount of time and devotion invested. The amount of love you get from an investment in love is correlated, if only roughly, to the amount of yourself you invest in the relationship.
If you invest caring, patience and unselfishness, you get those things back.
Are you kidding me? Ben Stein? He goes on:
- With people and bonds – stick with high quality
- Do your research
- If you have to compete with others, even after a short while, forget the whole thing
- Returns should equal investment
- Love is a long-term investment – day traders will have many days of love but years of agony
- Realistic expectations are everything
- Stick with a winner
- Have dogs and cats in your life
And he closes with this:
And let me close with another thought. I am far from glib about the economy. It has a lot of pitfalls facing it. As workers and investors, we know that many dangers lurk in our paths.
But so far, these things have always worked themselves out and this one will, too. In the meantime, they say that falling in love is wonderful, and that the best is falling in love with what you have.
So there you go. The economy is so bad, that pundits and economists are writing about love. Who said it? Love is all you need?